It’s been a bit since I wrote. I’m quite aware of it. I was just riding the wave of introspection. There are times when we must look within and it seemed to me that solitude was the thing. I am so in awe of how life is so full of these waves, that which take you in and then bring you back to surface. I talked about this in class today. I’m not even sure what part of the wave I like the most really, the highest part or even the deepest part. Every part of the wave presents such clear and amazing experiences.
I’ve been reading. Observing. I took a nap yesterday, that was a thrill 🙂 Seriously, I cannot remember the last time I took a nap. It was wonderful, 3 o’clock in the afternoon, the sun shining into my bedroom, a slight breeze moving within…I loved it! I woke up, and I did nothing but lay and breathe. What a gift. I was so happy! These are the little treasures that I feel life is about, the beauty of those everyday jewels!
In the solitude, Thomas Merton came to my thoughts…
A man knows when he has found his vocation when he stops thinking about how to live and begins to live. Thus, if one is called to be a solitary, he will stop wondering how he is to live and start living peacefully only when he is in solitude. but if one is not called to a solitary life, the more he is alone the more will he worry about living and forget to live. when we are not living up to our true vocation, thought deadens our life, or substitutes itself for life, or gives in to life so that our life drowns out our thinking and stiffles the voice of conscience. When we find our vocation-thought and life are one.
Suppose one has found completeness in his true vocation. Now everything is in unity, in order, at peace. Now work no longer interferes with prayer or prayer with work. Now contemplation no longer needs to be a special “state” that removes one from the ordinary things going on around him for God penetrates all. One does not have to htink of giving an account of oneself to anyone but Him.
Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”